The Name Game

Lincoln, Lincoln bo Bincoln Bonana fanna fo Fincoln....Just Kidding. This isn't about that wonderfully ridiculous song from the 60's that we all sang in grade school and was our start in making fun of the other kids' names in class. This is about the ridiculousness of naming cars.

Any automaker that has been around for more than a few years has gone through some transition of changing the names of their cars and not carrying on past name plates. Some have continued on with the same names for decades and we've seen them transition from great and powerful cars, where the name meant something, to horrible econoboxes, and eventually watching them die out with the pathetic vehicle it was slapped onto. Others have changed with the times and somewhat for the better to not confuse the consumer with what they are purchasing. Some companies have brought back old name plates that they haven't used in a decade or two, to name new cars. Then we have the companies that name their cars with combinations of letters or numbers or both, that don't really stand for anything in particular (Chevy HHR anyone?).

One vehicle that seems to be of recent controversy is the new Dodge Dart. A lot of auto enthusiasts have complained that Dodge resurrected a name that came from a great mid-size car from the past and have slapped it onto a small car that isn't worthy of the name. I beg to differ. The name came from a car from the 60's, it started off as a midsize car, shrunk to a compact and then grew back to a midsize car again. It was everything from a economy car, to a family wagon, to a muscle car. Unfortunately the mid-70's came along and the cars got lousy, so the Dart was discontinued.

Fast forward to now.

The new Dart that has been brought out to market this year is a compact car from Dodge. It is based off of a widened and lengthened chassis of the Alfa Romeo Giulietta. This car is something Dodge (and Chrysler in general) has needed since the Neon was dropped from the lineup in 2005. It's sporty in nature and can be had as an base economy model all the way up to an upscale luxo model. The only difference between the new Dart and the old Dart, is that the new one only comes as a 4-door sedan (yeah, yeah, the drivetrain layout is different, but I'm not getting into that). I don't see the problem with naming this new car the Dart. The name hasn't been used in over three decades (at least here in the U.S.) and it suits the car fine. I mean come on, why not?? It makes sense to me to call a small, sporty car "Dart", but there are the naysayers and hardcore Dodge fanboys that don't like what the name is being put on. Well we could just call it the Dodge D35LQSV if that will make people shut the hell up, but it won't, because I'd be the one complaining about that name.

Which now comes to my biggest pet peeve: Alphanumeric naming. There are companies that have used alphanumerics for years. BMW, Jaguar, Lexus, and Mercedes are just a few that still do to this day and I expect the big luxo car companies to do as such. But when other companies who hadn't done it before start doing it, there comes to a point when you say: Enough!

The whole reason for this post, is because of the Fiat 500XL that will be making it's introduction at the Paris Motor Show this year. I commend Fiat for bringing the 500 back to American Shores. The U.S. as a whole needed to be reintroduced to small cars again. While cars like the Mini had come before the 500, the 500's reintroduction kind of got things going again. Well the 500 alone hasn't really made as big of an impact as Fiat would have liked, so instead of bringing over models that they already have, they are going to start selling the newly designed 500L here. For those who don't know, the 500L is a "L"engthened version of the 500. Instead of being a 3-Door hatch, its going to be a 5-door hatch. Well apparently that wasn't enough, because now they are working on the 7 passenger 500XL, which will be like a mini-minivan. Ok, I get it, they're still trying to appeal the the masses, even though they have a huge line of cars that they could bring here. But what I don't get is why it needs to be called the 500XL (Extra Large?). I mean, I get name, it makes sense, but this is a car not a t-shirt. The 500XL is just a stupid name. It really doesn't sound appealing. I, however, have an idea for a better name.

My idea is to not call it the 500XL, but to call it the 600 Multipla. The vehicle itself is larger, much larger than the 500. Just because the front end resembles a 500 doesn't mean it has to be called one. If anyone knows Fiat history, back in the day they used to have a model called the 600 Multipla. The Multipla could arguably be considered Europe's first real people carrier.  Just shy of 12 feet, this vehicle was capable of carrying 6 people or you could fold the rear seats flat and use it to transport some cargo (sounds familiar to today's minivans doesn't it?), but still be able to get around the small streets of the Italian towns. This sounds like something Fiat is designing now, hmmm, can you say 500XL? The Multipla lived on for years as a people carrier and now the 500XL is replacing it. I think Fiat should have thought this one over before naming it after a t-shirt size.

We're always going to have names like Mustang, Silverado, Accord, 740iL, C320, and LS460, they are the names we have been used too for years. Names like 500, Dart, and Caprice have all made a come back on newly redesigned cars and I think they are a refreshing to hear. I'm just tired of hearing names that sound like the marketing people don't even try.